Safe Bet
by Starlover1990
Summary: What if the conversation Sam had with her subconscious Jack went different than in the episode Grace. What are the consequences? S/J pairing
1. Chapter 1

**Safe bet.**

**Author**: Starlover1990  
**Rating**: T  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own Stargate, MGM or anything of it(If only…). I'm just playing with the characters. I don't earn any money with it.  
**Spoilers**: Season 7, certainly a lot of things out of Grace, Death Knell and Heroes.  
**Season**: Season 7.

**Paring: **Sam/Jack.  
**Summery**: What if the conversation Sam had with her subconscious (Jack) went different than in the episode Grace. What are the consequences?

**A/N: **I wanted to work with the butterfly effect in this fanfic so in the beginning it will be very close to the real episodes but how further we go in the fic how different this reality gets from ours/ the episodes.

The fanfic is also finished I will slowly update all chapters, depending on my beta how fast.

Many thanks to **Sarai **for beta'ing!!!

_Chapter 1/Prologue_

Sam was walking on the ship. It was quiet. She had woken up a few days ago with a major bruise on the head and she was the only one still on the ship. It looked like everyone had abandoned it; even all escape pods were gone, Sam was left behind in the chaos after the attack. She'd tried to fix the ship to escape but the sub light engines just weren't cooperating. The hyper drive didn't work either in this cloud; the window couldn't form because of the gasses inside of it.

Yesterday her father had showed up and she even started to see Teal'c and Daniel. Deep inside of her Sam knew that they weren't here, that they weren't real, but she felt compelled to talk with them. It was the little girl she didn't understand. What was she doing here? What was her purpose in here? Where did she come from? Daniel said to her that it could be the consciousness of the cloud and that she should talk with her, but that didn't make any sense at all. The little girl sang _twinkle twinkle little star, _the song her mother used to sing for her. Sam had long forgotten about it; hadn't thought about it for twenty years. It wasn't much, but she felt the girl couldn't be the 'cloud'. Not unless it could read her mind.

Sam spent every day fixing the ship, cataloguing her supplies and trying to find a way out of there, Daniel helping her. Teal'c helping her to stay awake because of her head injury. Jacob talking with her about her love life, something that didn't went very well. She envied the love her father had had for her mother.

There was one person missing. The only one she really wanted. But also the one person that could help her in times like these. He hadn't shown up and probably wouldn't. Hell, he was her CO and she was just his 2IC; nothing more.

The ship was getting more and more structural damage, she had to find a solution somehow, but she didn't know how, she tried everything. Sam settled into a corner of the ship, hoping that someone or something would come to save her. She had given up. Grace, the little girl, was now next to her blowing bubbles. Her first thought went to science; to the surface tension of the bubble, binding the molecules together in a certain way. She couldn't help but compare it to her own life. So bound. So fragile. Grace interrupted her. She heard another voice.

"All right Carter, come on, on your feet let's go." He finally showed up and Grace had disappeared.

"I wondered when you were going to show up."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N** I just wanted to say before I go further. That a lot of conversations from the episodes will be in this fanfic. Please bare with me, I can't change everything suddenly because of one convo, if I would do that I would go out of Character(IMHO)...and I tried not to do that

Again many thanks to my **Beta/background artist** (as she wants to be called) Sarai!!

Chapter 2

"You're just gonna sit there?" She didn't want to sit there, but what else could she do? She'd run out of ideas for fixing the ship and her head hurt so much, she wanted to sleep even with the danger of it.

"Too tired sir." He walked towards her and sat down next to her, with a smirk.

"Samantha, I'm a figment of your imagination. You're gonna call me sir?" He had a point there, like he always had. But she couldn't think or call him by his given name; it would cross that dangerous line.

"Old habit. Sorry"

"So, you gonna save yourself or what?"

"I've tried." She really had; everything she could think of.

"Just giving up then?" She had, and not only that. She had given up on love, on him. There wasn't just any way to have what she wanted, the same as with the ship, she couldn't fix it.

"I don't know what else to do right now." Not with him, not with the ship.

"You'll think of something." He always had faith in her, no matter what. He trusted her, like she had trusted him.

"Came to give me a pep talk?"

"That's where friends are for."

"Friends?" She wanted more, so much more. But did he want it? She loved her career, she really did, but to actually have a chance on finding love? Why should Sam give up on that as well? Jack interrupted her thoughts: "Hey this is you talking here. Might as well be honest." He was right, she was talking to herself and even then she couldn't do this. Could she ever do this? Give up everything for a thing between them she couldn't even classify?

"What if I quit the Air Force? Would it change anything or is it just an excuse?" She saw Jack think about it; he frowned. And then a small smile appeared on his face. It made Sam think for just a second that he wanted to same as her.

"I would never ask you to give up your career. I know how important it is for you."

"It is, but I would give it all up…" for you, she thought. "Is this because you don't feel anything for me?" She had to know it. She had to know if his feelings were the same as hers, if she should try something, or if she should give up and continue her life as it was. A dream job, but no future with him.

"Sam." He almost growled it out. No Carter this time, was this good? She tried again.

"I'd let you go right now if I knew." She would. She would leave her heart here and try to do the impossible, something she already tried for four years. Move on. She saw Jack give her that smile again. It spoke volumes.

"You would?" There was a hint of doubt in it.

"For you, yes. I would."

"So what's stopping you, if you really want to know?" She was quiet for a second; knowing everything she wanted say and yet nothing at all.

"I'm trying." She shook her head. Was she really trying or not? How important was her career for her? In the past it was everything. She had worked so hard to get where she was right now, to give it all up. This wasn't easy for her; Jack was normally the one who gave her the commands, told her what to do. It wasn't like she didn't have a mind of her own. But, when things were this difficult…

"Maybe it's not me that's the problem in here. This is something we have to do together." She knew that, but how. Jack wasn't normally the best talker; he was a man of action, not of words. How could she figure this out? How could she say to him that they had to do it together without changing everything for worse? Was she the problem here?

"Me?" Was he only her safe bet then? Nothing more, if she couldn't find anything else she was back to him. Nothing more than that?

"Sam," he sighed, "let's face it, we are not good at this," he moved his fingers between the two of them. "But I do know that it's possible." And he gave her the trademark O'Neill smile.

"So, it's possible." She could give up her career, possibly move to the labs full time, only going on missions when she was needed. But she'd have Jack. That was the important bit.

"It is. Jacob was right you know." Another grin. Perhaps this head injury wasn't so bad after all, except for her mental health of course. She closed the gap between them and snuggled up. Their best way of communication.

"Even if," Jack started, "Even if you do something else, I'll always be there for you. No matter what." He said it while direct looking at her. She believed him, but she had already made her decision she would fight for him.

"So what now?"

"Go save your ass." She wanted to stand up, but looking again at him she waited. She gave him a kiss. It was meant to be a simple 'thank you' kiss, but it quickly deepened into more. First the kiss was gentle, even sweet, but it soon became clear neither were satisfied by that. Their tongues collided and Sam could taste his delicious lips. She couldn't believe how well he could kiss, especially for a hallucination. Dimly, in the back of her mind, she wondered if he would kiss like this in real life. Then she wondered if, in real life, she was snogging the face off a wall panel right now.

The ship started to shake. Sam stood up, looking back towards him once before running as quickly as possible to the bridge. She just had to try again, certainly now she had a chance; a chance on finding love. The inner hull was breaching, if she wanted to live she had to act quickly. Then Grace was there again, blowing bubbles.

"What do you want?" Sam asked angrily. She wanted to get out of here.

"What do you mean?"

"Whoever you are, I know why everyone else keeps showing up, why are you here? What do you want from me?"

"I don't want anything. But you do. Then the traveler in the dark thanks you for your tiny spark. How could he see where to go if it did not twinkle so?" That was it. The solution. The bubbles. It all made sense now.

Sam knew how to save herself and convince the other ship to let her crew go. She directed the convoy out of the gas giant, strangely detached from her task as all she could think about was her new mission. For when she got home. When the crew was beamed back aboard, she collapsed.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you **Sarai** for beta'ing.

_Chapter 3. _

When Sam woke up sometime later she heard some faint beeping on the background. Even before she opened her eyes she knew where she was, she was in the infirmary. She tried to open her eyes a couple of times but was blinded by the light. She licked her now very dry lips in an attempt to make them less dry. When she was adjusted to the light she immediately felt the other presence in the room and looked towards him. She felt the small prickle at the back of the neck that told her who it was; he was always here for her. Here when anything threatened her life.

"Hey." Jack said; one hand propped under his chin, cosily sitting on the neighbouring bed. He stood up, coming closer to her but still keeping a professional distance.

"Jack." Her mind was still trying to wake up again. Jack raised his eyebrows, looked around but said nothing of it. Sam immediately knew that this wasn't her imagination anymore, this was the real Jack, and there were still boundaries between them.

"I'm sorry sir." She said in a way on trying to fix the mistake she just made. He flashed her a trademark O'Neill grin.

"Yes, well, a massive concussion will tend to disorient one." She smiled at this. Jack, no, the Colonel always tried to lift the mood and he'd do anything to see her smile again.

"How long was I out?" Sam saw him in doubt to answer the question.

"It's all relative Carter, that time space continuum thing." He said Carter, welcome back to the real world Sam thought. Sam sighed.

"Sir." He would give her the real answer, he always did.

"Four days." He said it with such a weight that she knew he had been sitting with her the whole time. In their language only a few words would be enough to understand each other. She remembered everything from the Prometheus again. The time she spend hallucinating on the ship looked way longer with everything that had happened

"Could have sworn it was weeks." Jack stayed quiet for a minute, picked up a chair and went to sit beside her. He would stay, even after four days. After a moment of uncomfortable silence Jack spoke again.

"Teal'c and Daniel say Hi. They're planning a little bit of a shindig for when you're up and around. There's talk of cake." He gave her another grin.

"Cake?"

"My idea." He said proudly. She smiled, closing her eyes tiredly.

"Can't wait." Another silence, this time a bit more comfortable. Jack relaxed in his chair.

"So you need anything? Magazine? Yo yo?" Sam snorted. Jack and his yo yo.

"I'm fine." She was back with him meaning she was mostly okay again. She needed him; a lot more than just friends.

"Yes you are." Sam closed her eyes again and heard Jack picking up a magazine or something like that. He would stay. Softly on the background Sam heard the song _twinkle twinkle little star _again. She sighed. The song meant so much to her. It meant that everything was going to be alright. She would get her love life and she would get it with Jack. Sam knew what she wanted and he was sitting right next to her.

Sometime later Sam was awake again and opened her eyes. Jack had fallen asleep in the chair next to her but the moment Janet saw Sam awake she walked towards them. She wheeled the obs cart to do some tests.

"How are you?"

"Except from the massive headache? Peachy. So when can I go?" Janet grunted. A member of SG1 in the infirmary always meant trouble.

"One more day, and after that I only want to see you do some easy work otherwise the headache won't go away." Sam nodded. "And I want someone with you at all times." She watched as her friend rolled her eyes. "You have a major concussion Sam. You need watching. The only reason I'm letting you home is because of the last time you were here." Several other patients jell-o had mysteriously gone missing. Janet blamed Sam. And Jack.

"Of course." She wouldn't tell Janet about the party the boys were planning for her.

"That also means no party just yet." Janet knew. "You'll do that later."

"How's Cassie doing?" Sam tried to change the subject.

"Good, she got her last grades again. All A's." Janet said with proud like only a mother could. Because of the sound Jack stirred and woke up again.

"Well, hello ladies." He looked at Sam, catching her eye meaningfully.

"So erm…" Janet said when she noticed she wasn't needed here, "I'm going to check on some others. Behave."

"As always." Jack answered innocently as Janet walked away. "So, you're getting out of here soon?"

"Tomorrow, you can come over if you want. Janet said I needed company." He looked at her. "The boys are welcome too." Sam added quickly.

"We'll be there. With cake."

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N **Again many thank you's to **Sarai **for beta'ing!

Also many thank you's to all those who took the time to review.

_Chapter 4_

In the end the team didn't get together after Sam was released. SG1 had been needed on several other missions and it had been a busy time where Sam couldn't speak with Jack. Some days she even started to doubt her decision and she didn't want to talk with Jack about it. Just leave it like it was.

A little while later they all sat in Sam's living room. Sam had been cleared for duty and they had seen Jonas last week. They now finally had time for the team night the boys offered. This team night was different than others; most team evenings would be at Jacks place or O'Malleys, never at Sam's. The boys had brought a movie, pizza, some donuts for Teal'c and Jack had brought Jell-O cake. Sam and Jack were sitting on the couch quite comfortable while Teal'c and Daniel were sitting in some lounge chairs. The mood was light and relaxed. After some beers and soda for Teal'c, Daniel and Teal'c decided to leave again since Teal'c had to Kelnorim and Daniel had already fallen asleep. The two officers chatted until the conversation ran out.

"You need me to help cleaning?" Jack asked.

"No, it's just a couple of beers. I can handle it." He looked at her and still helped her. After they cleaned the mess Sam knew that Jack normally would have to go now too.

"You want another beer? As thanks for helping me clean?" He doubted but nodded. Sam knew he couldn't resist some good Guinness. Now they could talk.

"So…" Sam started nervously, "Thanks for coming tonight."

"Think nothing of it." Jack answered while sipping his beer. Sam was slowly building up the courage to broach some pretty 'interesting' topics, thinking he was totally oblivious.

"Do you think it will be long before we defeat the Goa'uld? Especially Anubis?" She chickened out.

She could talk for hours and hours about physics, but one talk about her love life or something close to that, she couldn't handle.

He shrugged. "I don't know. We'll probably kick their asses. We've killed six now? Seven?"

"Something like that." She paused, frowning, "But what if, after that, it's all over; when we've defeated them? What then?" That was better; she could tell he understood by his silence. By his refusal to look into her eyes.

They sat in silence; Jack sipping his beer, Sam gazing steadfastly at the clenched hands in her lap. He took a large swig out of the bottle in his hand, catching sight of her tightly shut eyes.

"Look Carter…" What did she want him to say? She flinched at the sound of his voice. Jack winced. "I…I'll go fishing. You wanna go with me?" Again with the invitation! The day she would go along to fish with him was the day they would be together. She drew her breath to respond, taking just a second too long. The phone rang. Sam grimaced; great timing. She looked into his eyes. He raised his brows, turning his attention back to the bottle in his hand. She let it ring for a moment before answering, tearing her gaze away from his.

"Carter."

"Major Carter, you are needed on base."

"What happened?" She watched, barely listening, as Jack's cell rang and he answered.

"We had an incoming traveller." The person on the other side of the line was cryptic, this wasn't a secure line and he couldn't compromise base security. Jack had stood up and walked around the other end of the couch, his back to her.

"I'll be there in twenty." Sam said as both she and Jack hung up their phones. She cast him a look and stood as he shouldered his jacket, handing her hers.

He handed her, her car keys since he'd had a beer.

Together they walked out, the tension hanging in the air because of the unfinished conversation. Would they ever finish it? Would they ever be honest about their feelings or what they really wanted? She could only guess.

Less than twenty minutes later Sam and Jack arrived at the SGC, put their BDU's on and walked towards the briefing room.

Hammond was talking to someone in the gate room; when they came closer Sam saw who it was. Her father. She walked towards the gate room and when the two saw each other they hugged.

Her father smiled grimly. "It's good to see you Sam. All recovered from your recent 'mission'?" He placed an emphasis on the last word, casting an annoyed look in Hammond and Jack's direction. Sam chose to ignore it.

"Yes, thanks Dad." She spoke louder, drawing his attention away from glaring at her superiors. "Everything's fine now." Jacob looked in to her eyes and Sam knew he didn't buy it.

Hammond cleared his throat. "SG-1, Jacob came here because there's been another super soldier detected. He was on PS-745; we need to make a new prototype of the weapon, and fast. Major Carter, your father has requested you help him on the Alpha site while the rest of SG1," Hammond turned to Jack, "go on to search for survivors on PS-745."

"Yes, sir. When is SG1 departing?"

"At Oh-Two-Hundred. Doctor Jackson is still in the infirmary after the…other evening." Jack snorted a bit and the rest looked accusingly at him.

"What? I can't help it that Danny goes down after one beer."

Jacob rolled his eyes. Sam tried to hide a smile.

"Colonel." Hammond growled.

"Oh-Two-Hundred. Understood." Jack gave Sam a quick glance and walked out.

"When do you want to leave dad?"

"When you've been cleared by Doctor Fraiser."

"Okay. General?"

"Go to the infirmary Major, if the doctor clears you, you are free to go with Jacob."

"Yes sir."

Janet checked Sam over and gave her the 'all clear' to go to the Alpha site with Jacob. They would depart before the rest of SG1. Jack, Daniel and Teal'c stood with her and her father as the seventh chevron was locked and it was time to leave.

"Good luck Carter, I'll see you soon." Jack said with a grin.

Sam swallowed, cursing the bad timing of the universe. "Thank you sir, you too."

He smiled in thanks. "I'm sure you will have fun there, with all those doohickeys. Just make sure you get that weapon finished. I do want to test it you know." He waggled his eyebrows, as she smothered a giggle.

"I'm quite sure you will get enough opportunities to test it." Jacob cast a small glare in the younger man's direction, taking a firm hold of his daughters shoulder and marching through the event horizon.

By only the second day that Sam and Jacob had been working on the prototype weapon, she was stressed. They were slowly making progress and the weapon was almost ready to be tested, but it didn't stop her father from driving her up the wall. In the last transmission that the new Alpha site had received from the SGC they heard that SG1 had come back; the super soldier had already left the other planet, sadly leaving no survivors.

Her father threw his arms in the air, distracting her thoughts.

"Where's the matrix crystal?!" Jacob said anxiously.

She tried counting. "Next to the primaries."

"I can't find anything; I had a system back at the old Alpha site."

"The location of the old Alpha site was compromised when Anubis used his mind probe on Jonas. You didn't really wanna' hang around there did you?" She said, giving up on the counting.

"I just want to be able to work as efficiently as possible. Anubis' drones are kicking the crap out of the System Lords and we're next. This prototype should have been done weeks ago!" Counting resumed.

"It's done, it's just not finished." Sam smiled tightly at Jacob.

"Interesting distinction."

"We only got Telchak's device a month ago, I'm surprised we were able to come up with something so quickly!"

"In its current configuration, the weapon is only 70% effective at countering the reanimation technology." But they'd knocked up that weapon rather quickly! At least they now had a weapon against the soldiers; better a bad functioning weapon than no weapon at all.

"The power unit you were using hasn't been properly calibrated, this one will be better."

"Maybe."She struggled not to raise her voice.

"Have you not had your coffee this morning?"

Jacob paused for a moment. "Selmak doesn't like coffee."

"You gave up coffee for your symbiote?" Sam was incredulous; he used to be as addicted to coffee as Daniel. "I didn't know that."

He'd had a symbiote for three years now, how could she not know that? She'd thought she'd get to spend more time now with her father, but she didn't. If they were together it was almost always for a mission, but Sam still had to admit that their bond was now better than it had been for a long time. After her mom died, Sam barely spoke to her father; blaming him as she did for her death. It was a fine line, but they had worked on a relationship. Just not enough apparently.

"We never talk anymore, Sam." Jacob said. It seemed she wasn't the only one thinking it.

"I know."

"Are you happy Sam?" Sam gasped; the question shot at her from out of nowhere. Her father had always had an interesting way of changing the topic to suit his own ends. But that wasn't what shocked her. It was the unbelievable sense of déjà vu she was feeling.

"_Are you happy Sam?"_

"_What?"_

"_Just answer the question."_

_She smiled tiredly. "Well at the moment things are a little rough, but in general, sure I'm happy. She was stranded on a space ship; there wasn't really time to think about her love life. _

_Jacob sighed. "No you're not. You're content, you're satisfied, you're in control and that's the problem."_

"_Okay__, I'm really not following you here."_

"_I'm__ saying you're missing something vital from your life. And the sad part is you have no idea what I'm talking about." _

_She raised her eyebrows, trying to convince him. Trying to purport that she had no idea what he was talking about. "Dad, I am happy. I've seen and done things most people couldn't even dream of. I have an incredible life."_

"_And yet you're alone."_

_She huffed. "Well lately the dating scene's been a little stale but then again I am marooned on a space ship."_

"_No__, always. For as long as she was alive, your mother showed me a world beyond just ambition and career. She gave my life meaning and balance and it was my honor to love her for the short time she was with me. And if I were young again and I met her for the first time even knowing her fate, I would do it all again. That is love. Sam, I know you've denied yourself the experience because you think it must inevitably end in pain and loneliness. It's time to let go of the things that prevent you from finding happiness. You deserve to love someone and be loved in return."_

"Sam, you okay?" Jacob asked. Sam jerked, swallowing her painful response away.

"Yes, dad. And I'm happy." She said with what she hoped was a sincere smile on her face. If her and Jack ever got round to the conversation the universe seemed to want to stop them from having, they would be happy. So it wasn't completely a lie. This didn't make her feel any more certain or secure as her father stared into her eyes however.

"So, you've got any news to tell me?" Jacob asked 'nonchalantly' after a pause.

"Nope, not really."

"He's a good man." How would he know? How could he know? Or was he alluding to something else. Sam's paranoid mind went into overdrive.

"How would you…" Sam was cut off by a Lieutenant running in, the base alarm going off and weapons fire. Something was wrong.

"Lieutenant Glen, what's happening?" Another loud boom sounded and she could hear the hum of approaching ships.

"We're under attack; we just picked up Goa'uld ships entering the atmosphere. Colonel Riley has ordered an immediate evac to Beta. We're bugging out right now." Jacob and Sam shared a look and Sam got quickly put some last settings into the power unit of the prototype. They had to finish it. The Lieutenant waited.

"We have to leave now!" He enthused, looking up towards the sound of the blasts and the ships.

"Just give me a second." Sam replied, rushing to the other side with the power unit, putting some final configurations into it. Jacob's fingers flew over the keyboard; downloading the weapon design into the matrix crystal and deleting everything from the computer so no research material could be compromised.

"You have the prototype!" Glen fidgeted.

"We can't leave this information behind for them to find." Jacob answered instead of Sam. Another blast.

"How much longer?" the young lieutenant shouted as Sam set in the final setting.

"Finished." She shouted, whipping around as a series of energy shots come through the door. Lieutenant Glen fell unceremoniously to the floor. A super soldier barged through the double doors, firing towards the computer station. Sam and Jacob ducked as the soldier shot again. Jacob took aim over the counter with the prototype and fired. The soldier stumbled backwards a little.

"It worked." Sam watched as the soldier squared up again.

"Not good enough." Jacob raised his weapon again and fired another blast. The soldier dropped like a stone.

"Let's get the hell out of here." They ran for the door before the soldier could find his feet, aiming for the Stargate; housed in a hanger across the compound.

The scene was total chaos; people were running towards the Stargate hanger with the bases self-destruct booming out in the background. Orange shots fired past Sam's head; the soldier was out in the open and after her. Beside her, her father aimed behind them and missed.

She stumbled; opening a huge gash on her leg on a broken piece of UAV discarded on the ground. She cried out, but carried on running as her father shouted to hear. Sam couldn't hear him over the melee but followed his gesture towards the woods; their only safe haven. In the background the countdown timer stopped, and in a brief heart-stopping moment of realisation, Sam knew exactly what that meant.

She felt herself flying through the air, and couldn't stop thinking. They say in your last moments your life flashes before your eyes. It doesn't. Or at least it didn't for her. She saw faces. Names and faces.

Mom. Daniel. Teal'c. Cassie. Janet. Her Dad.

Jack.

Everything went black.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**_Chapter 5_**

Voices rushed through her mind, terrifying her yet elating her. They echoed pain and fear and sadness; for her. Bright lights flashed behind her eyelids as Sam drifted in and out of consciousness. She could hear them if she really tried; her friends and family calling for her, praying for her.

Everything hurt. Sam wanted to move but as she peeked out from where the blast debris had covered her, she saw the super soldier. He was looking for her. Biting down on a growl of pain, and drawing blood, Sam slowly moved away from him as discreetly as possible. Her years of training paid off as she escaped him, working her way uphill to a more defensible area.

Slowly but steadily Sam made it up until she found a little place to rest. The soldier followed her every move; it was a skilled predator. She hid under a pair of bushes to look at her leg, feeling like the minutes of endless silence were stretching into hours. She had a major cut in it; dangerous in these conditions. Painfully, Sam ripped off a strip of her T-shirt to bind it around the wound. Closing her eyes, she tried to imagine the pain was less than it was. A thudding in her ears caused her to sway slightly and open her eyes. Her heart leapt into her mouth as she heard the steps of the soldier again.

She lay down on the ground, trying to be as quiet as possible. She could almost hear the super soldier's thoughts as it hunted her. He slowed to a halt in the clearing, and for an odd moment Sam thought she could hear him sniffing; smelling her out. She remained silent, and after a moment he moved on, thudding away into the forest.

Sam closed her eyes, willing her lip not to shake. She was exhausted and in agony, and completely terrified. Though she'd be damned if she let it get her. Slowly she lifted herself back up, pausing a moment as her head revolved dizzyingly.

"Come on Sam move." She looked to her right. Jack was there; wearing his BDU's and stooping to crouch next to her. For a second she entertained the idea that he was real. Sam sighed, the thought banished from her mind. How would they ever find her out here? Another drop of blood rolled down her face; it was the cut on her head causing the hallucination. She coughed, trying not to laugh. _Every time…_

"Just taking a break."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "You can't do that. He **is** coming back. Let's go." Sam tried to stand up again and ignore the cut in her leg. She couldn't really run any more so when she got up almost every tree was a source of support. She made it though the clearing, looking around to find Jack gone. Already after a few minutes she felt she needed to take a break, she was exhausted and her leg wasn't cooperating. She sat down against a tree after clearing the area.

Sam looked at the wound, it was oozing, clearly infected. She closed her eyes, thinking about wrapping another t-shirt strip around it. Reaching down, she started to unwrap the old strip and stopped, the pain too great. One moment of rest than she would have to go on.

"Sam." Jack was here again. She didn't know how long she had been here.

"Yes I'm moving." Sighing, she stood up to Jack. He gave her some hand signals and she followed him. The soldier, as stealthy as he was, was probably still close by. He could easily track her because of her wounds. She tried but it was so hard. She wanted to take a break again and Jack looked over his shoulder. He made his way back.

"Okay, let's do it together then." He slipped an arm under her shoulders so she had some support and they could move faster. Sam was surprised at how real this hallucination was; that it was actually helping her in a physical way, instead of only words.

"Okay?" Sam nodded.

"How can you be…"

"So real?" With all the laws of physics this wasn't possible, you couldn't actually touch hallucinations it was impossible. She looked at him again; he was still helping her. She wondered whether it was her head, telling her to keep going.

"Yes?"

"Because you _want_ me to be real." And the two looked in the eyes. She wanted him to be real indeed. Their _relationship_ to be real and not only as CO and 2IC. There should have been more between them before this mission. They should have had their 'talk' before. Waiting for the end of the war wasn't going to work out. She knew they had to wait. But to talk, to talk about what was going to happen. Sam couldn't handle this for much longer.

Looking up sharply, Sam heard water running. They were close to the river.

"Sir?"

"Yeah, I hear it too. Let's get there." When they got closer to the river Jack let Sam go and together they checked the area for the super soldier. Sam was so thirsty she walked towards the river and with her hands scooped out some water to drink, forgetting to check her surroundings for a minute. A huge energy shot whistled by her ear. She felt a track of numbness, then of pain as blood rolled down her cheek. Multiple shots fired around her.

"Carter!" She heard Jack shout. She looked up and saw the super soldier. He was at the other side of the river. She scrambled away and somehow made it to some fallen trees. Forcing herself to move on, she tried to find a better place to hide from the soldier. And to rest again, as quietly as possible. Soon afterwards she heard the sound of an earth UAV. She looked up to see it flying overhead. They needed to know that she was still alive. She raised her arms and moved her watch against the sun so it would cause a reflection. The UAV should pick up the reflection. Over the treetops a series of energy shots were fired and the UAV was hit badly, it fell to the ground, landing somewhere in the distance with a loud crash. The Super soldier was close again. Sam lay down again in her hiding place.

She heard the steps of the Soldier coming closer, in one moment he was almost standing next to her. She was silent, using the special ops training she had picked up from Colonel O'Neill. He moved on, not noticing her. Sam knew she had to get to the UAV and walk to the direction where it had fallen down. This could be her means of escape; she couldn't rely on the SGC, she was clearly on her own. Using the UAV she could make some sort of weapon. If she stayed conscious long enough.

Tracking slowly towards the UAV, Sam had no idea where Jack had gone. Her illusion had helped but not for long. She couldn't help feeling more vulnerable than ever. Stumbling into a clearing, she spotted the smoking UAV. Going over it slowly, with her injured hands she noted with a smile that the rockets on it could still be fired.

"Can you fix it Carter?" Jack said. Sam looked up and saw her hallucination again. Too tired to speak she only nodded.

She picked up the UAV and placed it between the rocks that were lying at the side of the clearing. She disconnected the cables that weren't necessary and connected them with the ones to shoot with. The last pair of wires would be used to fire. She could hear the soldier's thuds. He wasn't far now, and she directed the weapon towards where she thought he would emerge.

"He's coming?" Jack asked. She nodded once. "Because of the UAV." Jack stated. Again she nodded.

Suddenly she looked up, seeing the soldier across the clearing. She ducked but was too slow and he saw her, raising his arm to fire on her. Amazingly he missed. Fumbling slightly, Sam connected the last two and the rocket fired. A huge cloud of smoke formed on the place where the soldier had stood. Sam rose slowly and walked around her small hiding place of rocks to check it out. No soldier, thankfully, he was buried by the rubble. She sat down again, resting for a moment. She closed her eyes, but started as she heard a sound. Looking to her left, she saw a hand punch out from the rubble. The soldier followed; he was still alive. He emerged from the broken sand like a beast rising from hell. In that instant the world was quiet and serene. Sam prayed.

Suddenly a blast came from his left side. Teal'c. The soldier turned, focused his energy and anger on the Jaffa and Sam took the chance, limping painfully back to her hiding place.

As Teal'c dived, the soldier focused his energy back on Sam. Suddenly Jack was there, at her back, protecting her. But he was different. Another Jack. He had different clothes and had weapons. One of them was the prototype. He fired a shot at the soldier. It didn't even notice it and walked further while shooting. Sam ducked.

"Carter, I need that…" She immediately handed the power unit to him.

"Thanks." He inserted it in to the weapon. He stood up and fired on the soldier. He stopped. Jack shot again and the soldier fell, lying deathly still. Jack stood up and looked at the soldier wondering if it was dead, but not wanting to move away from Sam. Teal'c ran towards them.

"Cover him." Jack ordered and threw the prototype weapon at Teal'c.

"Is it…"Sam exhaustedly said turning her head to look at Jack.

"Yeah. It's dead." She nodded, breathing heavily and sat back hard, resisting the urge to bury her head in her hands. She was safe. But alone, except for the hallucinations. Sam closed her eyes again hearing Jack say; "Right Teal'c he's dead?"

"Yeah, he's dead." Sam just nodded. There was no energy left in her. She just wanted to sleep. She felt Jack looking at her worriedly.

"You wanna get up?" She shook her head.

"I just need to rest for a minute." Jack came to sit down next to her, checking on her.

He'd suffered while she had been MIA, but apparently not as much as she had. It was a level of panic he'd been trying to get used to for over four years, never really succeeding. Still, she was alive, and feeling her albeit weak pulse under his fingertips was good enough for him.

"C'mere." He put her arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder. They melted together, like one. Her illusion had saved her, she couldn't even process how. Wanting to thank him, but having little energy to speak, looked him in the eye and kissed him. Her tired and injured mind told her it was the best way to thank him, and it was a glorious reminder of a few weeks ago, on the Prometheus.

She failed to notice the shock in his eye, or how he returned the kiss, or how real his lips tasted. Breaking away Sam looked up and smiled at him. A moment later the world turned black again.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Sorry for the long wait, it are busy times for the beta and I with university! (revising and all) Hopefully the next chapter will be faster online!

One chapter from Jack's perspective!

Thanks **Sarai **for the beta'ing

**Chapter 6**

Jack reeled in shock at what had just happened. Carter had kissed him. And he'd kissed her back. Great. Well done Jack. This was _so_ going to be a problem. Jack glanced at her, she had passed out on his shoulder; the rush of adrenalin clearly over.

"Teal'c let's go." Jack said, standing up and taking Carter's limp weight in his arms.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "O'Neill do you wish me to carry Major Carter?"

"No. No, it's okay." Jack swallowed. He couldn't let go of her yet.

She was light for a grown woman and cradled against his chest Jack felt the connection that he needed it to know she was safe. The bond between them wasn't a normal one; they were more than friends, they just couldn't admit it, for the sake of both his and her career.

He'd asked her several times to go fishing with him. Just the two of them. They both knew that after that awkward first time, fishing would be more than just two co-workers going on a trip. It meant more. He couldn't explain it, at least not out loud.

Jack looked at the woman in his arms. She was covered in cuts and bruises and two ugly injuries in her head and leg bled sluggishly through their make-shift bandages. He and Teal'c quickened their pace back to the Gate; letting the other rescue teams know they had found her.

At the gate a team was already waiting. Jack lay Sam down on a backboard, watching Teal'c help the other team manually dial the gate.

On the other side Janet was waiting with a team of nurses. She moved quickly to check on Sam, laying her hand on her friends arm.

She caught Jack's eyes. "You found her like this?"

Jack sighed, "No. She was conscious when we found her. She passed out a little over 25 minutes ago." He wouldn't mention the kiss. Nobody needed to know and Teal'c would never say anything.

Janet frowned. "Sam honey, can you hear me. Open your eyes."

Sam struggled but eventually her eyelids responded. "Janet?"

The Doctor smiled. "Do you know where you are?"

"SGC."

The surrounding personnel breathed a sigh of relief, "Okay, can I get 10mg morphine and a saline drip. Let's get down to the infirmary."

She looked back at the Colonel. He was clearly exhausted, the sweat and toil of 36 hours searching for her evident on his face. "Colonel, I'd like you and Teal'c to report to the infirmary as well please. Immediately."

"Colonel," Jack heard a voice coming through the speaker; General Hammond. "You've got the weapon?"

"Yes sir." He held up the prototype.

"Okay. Head on down to the infirmary. We'll debrief in one hour."

"Yes sir." Jack quickly followed the gurney Sam was on, not letting her out of his sight.

The debriefing was short and to the point. At some point, an airman came to inform General Hammond that Sam was out of surgery. Jack could barely keep still, his hands fidgeting with the pen in front of him. As soon as the briefing finished he moved as subtly and quickly as he could; making a beeline for the infirmary.

When he arrived she was still unconscious and apparently would be for a little while longer. Janet explained to him that with the head injury it was possible that she wouldn't remember some things.

He sat in silence, watching her, thinking thoughts he shouldn't. She stirred and he sat forward a little.

"Hey," He said with a smile, as her eyes opened slowly.

"Sir." She said. "We defeated the soldier?"

"We did." He struggled to keep disparagement out of his voice. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"The super soldier hunting me. He wanted the power unit." Jack nodded. She closed her eyes and opened them again, doing everything to stay awake.

"Carter, get some rest." He gave her a small, warming smile. The two locked eyes and she nodded and slowly settled back to sleep. He sat back more comfortably. He wouldn't leave her side, he never did.

After a while Jack felt a hand on his shoulder, he turned and saw Jacob standing behind him.

"How's she doing?"

"Fine, she woke up a while ago. Just for a couple of seconds."

"Jack, you should take a break." Jacob said, warning in his voice.

"No, I'm okay in here." Jack didn't want to leave. He was scared to admit he was afraid something would happen.

"Jack."

"Jacob."

"Tell me what happened?" Jack told Jacob the story of the Super soldier, the power unit and the UAV. He only left the final detail out. Nobody needed to know. The fall out for Sam would be unthinkable. He wouldn't let that happen to her.

"Thanks for telling me." Jacob said when Jack finished.

"So, Hammond said things didn't go so smoothly around here while we were out?"

"No, not really. That's why I stayed, rather than coming to search with you." Jacob filled the younger man in on events from the SGC; noting that his eye continuously strayed back to Sam.

After a few minutes of somewhat uncomfortable silence Jacob spoke; "Jack, you really do need to go eat something. Seriously. I'll keep an eye on her."

Jack caught his eye. Jacob was frowning at him. Jack took the hint.

He rose unwillingly, "Since I'll probably not see you for a while, take care, Jacob."

"I will," he looked at Sam and back at Jack, "keep her safe for me, will you?"

"I promise." Jack went to shake Jacob's hand but the older man raised his eyebrow. He glanced at his daughter pointedly then back at Jack. Quickly, Jack strode from the room.

After a sleep and a shower, Jack went back to the infirmary. Sam looked much better. She was propped up on the pillows, spooning jell-o into her mouth and eyeing the laptop in front of her. Jacob wasn't around.

She looked up and smiled at him. He couldn't help but think how cute she looked.

"Your dad's gone?" Jack said.

"Yeah, he had to leave. The alliance is falling apart."

"I know. The General tried everything but it looks like we're all heading our own way." He smiled thinly, "Anubis is gonna love this."

She sighed. "I was just looking over some data we got from the prototype and it's very promising, some final calibrations and the Super Soldiers should go down after one shot."

"Sweet."

She went back to typing on the laptop. Jack got his yoyo from his pocket and began to play with it. After a few minutes Jack spoke up again; "So when's the doc releasing you?"

"She said I could go home in a couple of days, providing I take it easy. The head injury should heal nicely and I'll have crutches for the leg. I've got lab work to do in the time being."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "The doc said take it _easy_ Carter."

She grinned and he couldn't stop a smile from lighting his face as well.

"Well, Daniel's gone to examine rocks on some planet and Teal'c is going to the free Jaffa in the hope of knocking some sense into them."

"And you?" Jack looked down a bit, grumbling, and then said; "Hammond ordered me to do some paperwork that I've been…strategically resisting." Sam snorted.

Jack looked at her. It was easy to pretend nothing had happened, to go back to the way it was. But it was too late now. Too late in the day for both of them. He couldn't push her on it now, not whilst she was supposed to be recovering. But soon. They needed to discuss it soon.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Finally new chapter, still busy in here, but the exams are at least over. I hope the following chapters will come out faster!

Again, as always, many thanks to my beta **Sarai**

**Chapter 7**

The following days went by too quickly. Sam was released from the infirmary and, like a kid in a candy store, dove on her projects in her lab. Since he could barely stand his office, Jack spent the majority of his days in her lab catching up with paperwork.

Thanks to her physical fitness, Sam's wound healed quickly and Janet took the stitches out after a week. Sam and Jack worked out in the gym so that she could go back to active duty as soon as possible. Janet said it would take a couple of weeks or so.

Time flew and Daniel and Teal'c returned, the big Jaffa bearing the sad news that the free Jaffa couldn't be convinced.

Jack's conscience wouldn't leave him alone. It niggled at him, telling him to approach her about his feelings. But there was always an excuse, she was tired, she was busy, **he** was busy. So he pushed it to the back of his mind, failing to notice that she had too.

Jack blinked, they were sat in her lab, something that had become commonplace for them over the past couple of weeks. Carter was fiddling with a naquadah reactor, her tongue sticking out of her mouth slightly. He stifled his grin, trying to focus in on his work. Outside one of the other geeks was humming as he walked past. Jack stopped doodling, the sound bringing back an uncomfortable memory.

----

_The doors of the elevator opened to reveal Carter and a yawning Daniel. _

"_Colonel." She said professionally, like she was snapping to attention. Something inside of Jack made him wince._

"_Carter." He retorted in the same tone, schooling his features to blankness._

_Daniel yawned and pointed over his shoulder._

"_Coffee." Coward. He swore Daniel did stuff like this on purpose._

"_Talk to you later okay?" Sam said to Daniel as she stepped inside the elevator. She sounded concerned. Apparently he was missing something. Again._

_Without thinking he leaned forward, unconsciously sniffing her hair as she pressed a button on the panel. Retreating Jack barely had time to think about what he had just done or what he should do. There was an uncomfortable silence and he couldn't work out why. Everything had been fine just a few days before. Suddenly he heard a noise. Was she…?_

"_Humming?"_

"_I am?"_

"_You are." His stomach sank. He might pretend it most of the time, but Jack O'Neill was no fool._

"_Sorry."She barely sounded it. Was she trying to prove something? _

"_What's his name?" _

_Sam paused. _

"_No one." She tried. _

"_Humming."_

"_You know." Realisation hit him like a sledgehammer. Ok, sometimes he was a fool. At least where Sam Carter was concerned. _

"_You know?"_

"_Yes." She gave him one of those looks. They definitely needed to talk. _

"_So. Nobody?" He had to clarify it or at least to say __**something**__, mainly to stop himself from grinning._

_Sam paused, clearly trying to hide a smile of her own. "Not yet."_

"_Great."_

"_Really?" _

"_Isn't it?" Jack felt a little insecure; she sounded worried. _

"_It is." She paused, clearly uncertain as to how to continue. "It __**will**__ be."_

_He breathed a sigh of relief. "And I-... he's...hum worthy." _

"_Sir."_

"_Carter?" Sam looked into his eyes. Jack swallowed._

"_Never mind." She rolled her eyes and Jack rocked back and forward on the balls of his feet, smirking slightly, amazed that they'd just broached the subject without actually mentioning the subject. It was these little encounters which would get him through the day, would help him avoid the larger issue. _

_The elevator stopped and Jack got out. He turned, catching her eye and smiling slightly as he did so._

"_Lunch?"_

"_Sure." _

----

He looked up. Sam was watching him. She ducked her head quickly but somehow he knew she was thinking the exact same thing. He watched the blush creep into her cheeks before closing his eyes, bowing his head and returning to his work.

The following week, Daniel cornered Jack as he made his way to the commissary. Jack raised a hand, cutting the younger man off before he started. A film crew was on its way to the base, intending to document the work that they did. General Hammond had ordered him to "keep mum" on the issue, since he had had absolutely no problem expressing his 'distaste' in the General's office. And 'keeping mum' was exactly what Jack intended to do.

"Jack." Daniel started.

"No Daniel, I don't want to hear about it."

"But the president…"

"No." Jack pushed the commissary door open forcefully, Daniel trailing at his shoulder. He made a beeline for where Carter and Teal'c sat eating lunch.

Teal'c looked up, noting the thunderous look on O'Neill's face. He raised an eyebrow. "Daniel Jackson, I don't think it is wise to bring up this subject further."

Daniel paused, adopting his sarcastic tone. "That's nice Teal'c. But he still needs to do it, we all do."

"Actually I understand the president's decision." Sam stated. The other three looked at her in surprise. She shrugged. "How long can the SGC stay under wraps? Don't get me wrong, I'm not sure the world is ready. But there's only so far the president can let this go before he has to brief the rest of the world." Daniel smiled. Teal'c's eyebrow was rising rapidly towards his bald crown. Jack's face was carefully blank.

"That's what I tried to tell him." Daniel muttered. Sam looked sheepish as Jack shot a piercing glare at her hapless teammate.

--

The microphone attached to her t-shirt made Sam's skin itch. She swallowed and glanced at the air force cameraman.

"Don't worry about it, he only looks unprofessional." _Ya think?_ Sam thought and gave Bregman a nervous smile. "Now ... Major. General Hammond warned me that people might be a little less than enthusiastic about all this." He said it in the nicest way possible. 'Pissed' would probably have been a better way of describing it.

"Yeah, we had a bad experience with a TV crew last year ..."

"The Prometheus incident, I know the air force insisted on their own crew for that reason."

"I think that you might also be sensing reluctance from a few people around here to put themselves up on a pedestal; I mean we are just doing our jobs." She shifted as the airman fiddled with her microphone again.

"Just a job? I consider it my job to put you up on a pedestal because this job looks to me nothing but extraordinary and from what I read from you file the same can be said about you personally." Sam smiled nervously again.

"See, now I'm blushing."

"So you are. We should start; you'll look good on camera. Alright let's go guys ..."Bregman leaned back, smiling broadly. "Are you ready?"

"No." Sam muttered. One of the airman checked Sam with a light meter.

"What are you doing? You don't need a light meter ... the woman's glowing. Let's get rolling."

"Rolling." One of the airmen answered.

"Sound?"

"Full."

"OK ... Major Samantha Carter, US Air force, Astrophysicist. Considered the foremost expert on the Stargate. You've explored territory that no one on Earth ... in the history of Earth has ever seen ... and you've fought an enemy that no one on Earth has even imagined. Major Samantha Carter, meet the six billion people of the planet Earth." Bregman motioned towards the camera and Sam's gut clenched.

"Hi." She said shyly. This was going to be very bad.

--

The questions were hard but she answered them well. Just as she was beginning to feel more comfortable Bregman moved onto the team.

"How do you feel about Colonel O'Neill?" Alarm bells started to ring in Sam's head. She swallowed and tried to adopt an expression of professional detachment.

"Ah ..."Sam smiled, thinking of an appropriate answer to the question. "He's an amazing man. After everything he's done, he's still modest, quite self effacing actually. He even likes people to think he's not as smart as he really is. Bottom line: He's an incredibly strong leader who's given more of himself for this program than anyone has given for ..." her, but that wasn't a good answer; "well ... anything I can imagine." She smiled nervously again.

"You spend a lot of time together outside of work?" Sam tried to think of another way to steer the conversation but her treacherous mind, usually working nineteen to the dozen, was blank.

"Err ... we don't get much time outside of work. When we do our...personal interests are little different."

"Did you ever hear the expression: opposites attract?" Sam smiled at him again; presidential order or not, she _really_ wanted to hit him.

"We have a very...professional relationship." _And our personal one is none of __**your**__ business._

"Really? Do you ... Professional? After everything you've been through? You must of ... maybe if it's not too much to say ... faced death together."

"Yeah ... not unlike countless military personnel throughout the years ... look I won't deny there's not a bond between us ... Daniel and Teal'c are also like family to me. The Colonel is first and foremost my superior officer. Even if there was potential for something more ... and I'm not saying that there is err ... our military positions, and the very nature of our jobs wouldn't allow for it." Sam swallowed and nodded with finality, willing him mentally to stop pushing the issue.

"Professional relationship. Okay." Bregman answered unconvinced. "So." He looked around, "can you explain to us a little more about this room?"

"Yeah…sure…can I stand up?"

"Of course." Sam stood up and motioned towards the main control station.

"The control room is sort of like the air traffic control tower of the base, we monitor all Gate activity from here." Bregman nodded and looked around again.

"So ... what are all these blinking lights about ... for example what are those lights over there?"

"Err well; this monitors the gates massive power consumption required for generating outgoing wormholes."

"Uhm ..." She didn't notice his confused look as she talked further; "Interestingly, in our study of off-world DHDs we found that our gate actually draws 10% more wattage than off world gates, now that far exceeds any potential loss due to our manmade interface. We think it has to do with the way the superconductive crystals inside the gate absorb electrical energy, but we're also trying to demonstrate that the DHDs are somehow producing a purer more efficient source of power." Now she was in her element again. The film crew looked blank.

There was a moment of silence before Bregman said, "Could we get a shot of the gate spinning?"

"Yeah, sure it's really cool steam comes out of it and everything." She said with sarcasm.

"Right." Just as she turned, Sergeant Harriman entered. He came close to her ear and whispered.

"SG-13 is due to embark on a mission; the film crew can't shoot this." Sam nodded and focused her attention back on the crew.

"Err ... sorry guys there's an SG team due to embark on a mission."

"Well, that's great. We'll get a shot of them leaving."

"Actually ... you're going to have to leave."

"Could I ask you a question ... you've been ... sorry you can stop shooting ... cut," the two airmen lowered the equipment as Bregman walked over to Sam. "Why aren't we allowed to see it? We won't shoot anything dangerous."

"It's the protocol. General Hammond told you he would follow it to the letter, so I'm afraid that's the way it's gotta be."

"Okay, then this is it for now." Bregman sighed. "Thanks for your time Major."

General Hammond entered just as the crew was leaving.

"Major how did your interview go?"

"Fine, I guess. I think I babbled too much."

"How was Bregman? He didn't...cross any lines?" Sam tried not to think about what he'd asked about the Colonel.

"No sir, not at all." The general nodded and walked forward to talk to Walter at the control station. Sam smiled as she saw the Colonel coming towards her, clutching a mug of steaming coffee. She smiled, standing to face him.

"Sir? Did you do your interview yet?"He looked at his coffee

"Yeah." She raised her eyebrow. For some reason she knew exactly what Jack would have said in his 'interview'.

"Mary Steenbergen?"

"She's so hot." She chuckled. "Carter, can you tell me the reason for this documentary again?" They started walking towards the elevators. Seven years ago, Sam hated how obtuse this man could be. And yet now she couldn't help but find it cute.

"Didn't you read the memo?"He probably never even saw one, "ah ... officially it's to chronicle the 1,000th trip through the Stargate but I think there's more to it than that."

"1,000 you say."

"I know it's hard to believe we've been at it this long."Jack glanced sideways at her. Sam swallowed.

"There should be a cake."

"You're probably right Sir. But we got stuck with these documentary guys instead."

"I consider this means your interview didn't go so well?" Sam gave him a wry smile.

"No. Not really." The pair entered the elevator.

"I'm going to check some last things before I go to lunch." Sam said, changing the subject.

"Carter."

"I need to check this sir."

"It can wait." Sam paused, clearly torn between the direction of her lab and the direction of lunch. With the Colonel. For the one time in her life, her heart won out. She couldn't help it. The test on the Kevlar armour could wait until tomorrow. He smiled silently at her internal battle. Getting her to eat one good meal a day was a victory for him. She rolled her eyes and they made their way to commissary.

But just as Jack was holding the door open for her, the base alarm sounded. Walter's voice came over the tannoy: "Unscheduled off-world activation". Jack looked at her, resigned. They turned around, and made their way back to the control room.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N ** Sorry for the long delay. My beta went MIA. Also thanks for all the reviews!

Thanks **Sarai **

**Chapter 8**

"SG-13, sirs," Sergeant Harriman said, as the General, and SG-1 entered the control room. A video feed appeared on the screens above them.

"What's up son?" Hammond asked the leader of SG-13, Colonel Dixon.

"We encountered a Goa'uld scanning device at our location sir, we shot it but we aren't sure if it already transmitted or not." He paused for a second, "Balinsky wants to stay sir."

"You see anything else worth staying for Dave?"Jack asked.

"Hard to say."Then Balinsky came into view.

"We need to finish searching these ruins."

Jack glanced towards the ceiling. "How long?" Hammond asked.

"A day or two. Maybe more ..."

"Be nice to send up a UAV, get an aerial overview." Daniel said.

"Permission to remain granted. I'll send SG3 as back up. Any sign of further threat you get out of there immediately Colonel."

"Understood sir." Sam turned to look at General Hammond.

"In the mean time I can run some tests on the device see what it's been doing there."

"Send the device back and report in on the hour." Hammond said to Dixon.

"Yes sir, SG-13 out."

With Siler's help, Sam got the device and brought it to her lab. There was a huge crystal in its centre.

Siler helped her to connect the device to her computer. It was clear there was a lot of data. Most of which she didn't understand, except for some clear mapping of the ruins on SG-13's planet.

She smiled at the Sergeant. "Thanks for the help Siler. Can you get Teal'c for me?"

"Yes Ma'am."

Teal'c arrived quickly and seated himself across the table. She had found nothing further since the maps; she had to rewire the connection but the technology was almost totally alien.

"You ever seen anything like this?"

"I have not ..."but still his knowledge of Goa'uld technology was better than hers.

"Well, it's definitely a remote program of some kind; the storage capacity of the memory crystals is immense, but so far all I've found are detailed images of the ruins. You know, it makes sense; we use a Malp, why wouldn't the Goa'uld?"

"The Goa'uld are scavengers, it is quite possible they got the idea from us."Sam smiled.

"So you do your interview with the documentary crew yet?"

"Indeed."

"I have to admit I can't wait to hear what everyone else said."

"I did not say much." Sam grinned.

"Really? That is surprising it's usually so hard to shut you up." Teal'c raised an eyebrow and she ducked her head to hide her smile. It was so nice to be able to tease him, she would never have dreamed of being this easy with him when they met.

"I found the entire experience ... unpleasant." Her eyebrows flicked towards her hairline. He wasn't the only one.

"They want to talk to me again."

"Did your interview not go well either?"

"Well, _I_ thought it was fine but apparently I looked ... nervous." They glanced at each other; an unspoken communication at how they hated having the crew on the base passing between them.

Finally, with Teal'c's help, Sam managed to connect the last cable of the device to her computer. She looked at the screen to check for data. Nothing. SG-13 had really kicked the crap out of it. The screen flickered and went blank; the interface connection was unstable, but before she was finished reinserting it, Teal'c was called away.

She called Daniel instead, in the hope he could help her with translating the text. The news wasn't good. The device had already sent a message through to the Goa'uld. SG-3 and 13 could be in big trouble. She called the General immediately to inform him, but was cut off as he explained SG-13 had just radioed in. Dixon had just reported heavy Goa'uld forces encroaching on the planet. And then his radio had died.

She hung up the phone as the Colonel rounded the corner quickly. "Rescue mission. Ten minutes till we disembark."

Sam hurried to the locker room to change. Janet was there; she, SG's 5 and 7 were going with them as back up, as one of the original team, Wells, had already been injured. Gearing up faster than she thought possible, she met the boys on the walk to the gate. With a sense of foreboding, Sam suddenly realised all were still in their old vests. Without the new protective inserts. The test had fallen totally to the back of her mind what with the interview and then the Goa'uld scanning device. She made herself breathe deeply, after all, they had worked alright for the past seven years, why not now?

Sam hoped that Wells was okay, it had taken her way too long to get the information out of the device. It should have happened faster and then maybe he wouldn't be wounded now. Jack looked over her face, sensing her worry. He shook his head. Sam understood the message, but she couldn't quite shake the feeling that something was going to happen.

The teams embarked and, arriving at the planet, Jack left SG-5 to secure the gate while Daniel and Fraiser went to Wells.

SG-1 and 7 had a hard time getting to SG-13's position. There were Alkesh firing from above and dozens of Jaffa on the ground. Every time Sam took one down, two more filled his place.

"Sir, there are too many."

"Just keep shooting. Everyone's coming back Carter." He moved quickly, shooting as he shouted orders. They were less than 200 yards from SG-13 and SG-3's position. But in a fire fight, 200 yards was a huge distance.

Finally they were within shouting distance of Colonel Dixon and entrenched in a reasonably safe position. Jack made his way forward to where Dixon was using a boulder for protection.

It was chaotic; Sam noticed the Colonel talking with Dixon, as one of the Alkesh fired a series of shots into the ground around their position. SG-3 were radioing that they were having trouble holding the gate, and even as Jack replied, Janet shouted through to the Colonel that Wells needed to be stabilised before he was moved. Sam looked around as much as she could, they had to leave. More and more Jaffa pored through the gaps in the trees.

"Sir, we need to fall back!" The Jaffa were closing in on them; there was no time. Jack looked to his left; one of those sneaky Jaffa was trying to make it round his left flank. He glanced to the right, checking his position, and stood. Suddenly the world stopped. Sam raised her P90, turning, to see him crumple, as if in slow motion, to the ground. She ran towards him, ignoring the gunfire, and the shouts from other SG personnel.

"Jack!" She put his hand on his chest and looked at the wound. The world around her was silent. He was unconscious. The Jaffa had hit him low; there was a chance he would make it. Sam stemmed the bleeding with fingers that shook, as the sounds of gunfire ricochet past her ears.

"Dixon we need to get him out of here." He looked and had already stood up, but before he could go to lift the colonel from the ground, Teal'c was already there. He and Sam covered Jack and Teal'c, firing shots behind them with as much accuracy as possible. Dixon looked to his right; Carter was as pale a ghost. He motioned to her to keep moving as he radioed through to the teams holding the Gate.

"We have casualties. Colonel O'Neill has been hit. We need to leave. Our positions have been well and truly compromised!"

"Wells is almost stable sir, we're comi-!" Janet shouted over the radio. Focusing her energy on Jack, Sam failed to notice the radio cut out.

She checked his pulse again, it was erratic. The gate was less than half a click away, but a battle surrounded it. Gunshots ricochet around the DHD as they hurtled towards it, shouting at SG-5 to dial it up.

For a second, time stopped as she noticed the blood around the steps. She caught Dixons eye and he jerked his head towards the open wormhole.

"Take them through Major". She gulped and swallowed, squaring her shoulders against the fear and pain as she followed Teal'c through the gate.

At the other side the gate room was crowded; everywhere there were doctors and nurses trying to keep people alive. Sam counted three gurneys. On one of them was Colonel O'Neill. Teal'c stood beside her. Searching her eyes for a moment, he nodded. "Go with Colonel O'Neill."

Sam shot him a grateful look and followed the Colonel's gurney, failing to catch the second part of his sentence, "I will go to Daniel Jackson".

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you **Sarai **for beta'ing *hugs*

**Chapter 9**

His room was a bustle of activity. She could see doctors hovering over his gurney, shouting indistinguishable orders. They moved away whilst she watched, taking him to an empty operating theatre. Sam was numb, sounds of gunshots and indescribable screams rushing past her ears. She felt a tugging on her arms as one of the nurses pulled her away to be checked out. She was scratched and bruised but otherwise ok and was allowed to leave since the nurses were needed at another emergency. Apparently one of the members of the mission had been the target of a series of staff weapon blasts that could be fatal.

The nurses assured her the colonel's wounds were serious but not life-threatening, and that she needed to take a shower and report to the General for a quick de-briefing. When she arrived the remaining SG members were already there. Teal'c caught her eye and nodded as she slid into the seat next to him. Daniel was nowhere to be seen, she assumed he was probably with Jack. Sam linked her shaking hands in front of her as Sergeant Harriman entered the room.

"Excuse me Sir." General Hammond nodded, eyes straying briefly on the young Major at his side for a moment. "Colonel O'Neill's surgery went well. He's been placed in a private room for the moment. The others are still in surgery."

"Thank you sergeant," The sergeant walked out and Hammond looked at Teal'c and Sam; "If you want you can go to him. And major, contact Agent Barrett. Ask him about a Robert Woolsey; he's on his way to the SGC from the IOA. I expect a full report from you as soon as possible. Understood?" Sam nodded. "Dismissed."

She and Teal'c stood and left the room as Hammond continued the de-brief. They hurried down to see Jack. Entering the room quietly they saw he was unconscious, the ECG steadily beeping. It was a comforting sign of life, if in a strange way. She sat heavily in the waiting armchair and looked at Teal'c. His usually impassive face was wrought with emotion.

"I will check on the others Major Carter."

She smiled tightly. "That's okay Teal'c. You'll tell me how they are?" Teal'c raised an eyebrow, nodded and left the room.

Sam waited quietly for hours, leaving the room only to contact Barrett; he told her everything she needed to know about Woolsey. She wrote it down, pushed it aside and looked at Jack.

Jack was resting peacefully and she couldn't help but use the excuse to really look at him, reliving the broken mission over and over again. Sam could feel her heart breaking; she couldn't live without him. After this was all over they would have to talk, no more delays. No more excuses. It was the only positive thought she could really hold on to.

Hours passed before Teal'c returned, entering the room with a grave nod.

"Doctor Fraiser still hasn't stabilized Daniel Jackson." Sam started in the chair. She blinked the haze of her previous meditative state out of her eyes.

"Daniel?"

"Yes. Daniel Jackson was hit by a series of energy blasts from a staff weapon."

"Oh my god, is he okay? Is he going to survive it?"

"I do not know. Doctor Fraiser is in surgery with him."

"Teal'c can you…"

"I will stay with O'Neill."

"Thank you." Sam left the room at a run. How was this possible? Had she been so busy with Jack that she didn't even see Daniel had been hurt? Sam tried to recall the moments that they went through the gate and what Teal'c had said to her. She had been so worried about Jack that she didn't think of anything else, not even her friend. Sam walked fast through the corridor, tears of guilt and worry streaming down her face. She rounded a corner to find Emmet Bregman waiting there with a camera. The lights glared in her face, highlighting, or so it felt to her, her guilt and shame.

"Please." She put her hand in front of the camera, moving as fast as she could.

The man was insatiable. "I know that at least one person was injured back there! I want to say that…"

Something inside of her snapped. Daniel was hurt, fighting for his life, probably because of her and here this guy wanted to film it?!

"Shut that damn thing off and leave me alone!" She strode off, followed by two airmen who blocked Bregman from trying to follow her.

When Sam got in the infirmary she searched for Janet. She wasn't there.

"Nurse. Where is Doctor Fraiser?"

"She is still operating on Doctor Jackson." Still? It had been at least six hours ago that they had returned from the planet.

"How badly is he wounded?" The woman avoided Sam's eye but answered with a shaking voice; Daniel was popular amongst the nurses

"It could be fatal, major. At this point we really don't know anything. Doctor Fraiser is doing everything she can." Sam choked back more tears and stared at the nurse.

"Wh...Where was he hit?"

"In the chest." Sam nodded. She couldn't say anything else. Daniel had been hit in the chest. The Kevlar vests she was supposed to have signed off on could prevent a fatal wound in the chest. Suddenly she felt sick and had to reach out a hand to steady herself.

She could hear the faint beeping in the operating theatre next door. Janet was barking orders as out of nowhere the machines went wild. The nurse in front of her rushed through the connecting door, leaving Sam alone. From the noises, he was in cardiac arrest. Sam's knees buckled and she gagged. Blindly groping for the door, she fled out and into the corridors.

SJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJSJS

Stumbling through the corridors, Sam suddenly found herself back at Jacks room. Teal'c was gone and she sank into the chair next to his bed, drawing her knees to her chest in an effort to make herself invisible. Her eyes fixed on his face and she lost track of time.

A while later Sam noticed someone had put a plate with food on the table next to the door. It's blue Jell-O, her favourite. She left it, feeling like she didn't deserve to eat. She'd let everyone down. Daniel, Jack, Teal'c, General Hammond. Everyone on the mission. She should have known better, she should have given up on Jack and moved on. This love or whatever it was that she felt had brought dangers with it that she didn't even realize. Perhaps she had to let go. It broke her heart. But better everyone be safe and well than she be happy.

Her thoughts were cut short as she noticed Jack's eyes opening. He was awake. She leaned forward expectantly, hands gripping the arms of the chair so hard her knuckles turned white.

"Oye." He grumbled softly.

"Hurts?" She could have sworn he sighed with relief before looking at her. They were silent for seconds that stretched into eternity.

"You want some water or something else?" Sam asked. Jack shook his head.

"Did everyone…?"

"No." Jack raised his eyebrows as if to ask who.

"Daniel. They're still operating on him…they…they…" But Sam couldn't say more, she felt too guilty.

"Don't."

"It's my fault. If only I had checked the test results on those vests…if I had been…"

"Don't." Jack said again looking into her eyes. They were quiet again.

"C'mere." Jack said, as if he noticed her distress and knew she needed him right now.

Sam hesitated but her need overtook her sense of duty and the rules. She stood and moved towards the bed, sitting gingerly on the edge. He tugged at her arms without hesitation; for a man who had just recovered from a major injury he was stronger than he looked. She laid her head on his chest, surrendering to the overwhelming relief of hearing his heart beat.

"I'm glad you were okay. I thought you…"Sam's breath hitched in her throat as she tried to fight back tears; "I thought you died."

"I'm lucky." He answered with quietly, no hint of sarcasm or anger. He was worried about Daniel. His young friend didn't deserve this along with everything else that had happened to him over the years.

Sam's worn out mind drifted. She thought she could hear Jack humming, and wondered what on earth could possess him to sing _Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star_. Her brain couldn't answer itself; as quickly as the thought had occurred she had fallen into an exhausted sleep.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you **Sarai** for beta'ing!

Including this one, only three chapters left...let's continue with the story...

**Chapter 10**

She was dreaming. She had to be. The reality was years ago; in her memory it was still as fresh and painful as if it was yesterday.

"_If you wanna preserve your world, leave Major Carter right now." _

_Sam felt her hand shake. The Entity doubted what to do now. It was afraid that the grief-stricken man would kill her entire planet. She could understand the pain and fear in his eyes. They were not so alien as she had first thought. This race lived, and loved._

_Suddenly Sam felt her body stand up and move. It was going to let her go. _

"_Stand down. Let her go."_

_It raced down the corridor but was cut off by two more. Sam could feel her hands raise and release energy into the ceiling. The electricity was almost more painful that the gut-wrenching look of loss in his eyes. Almost, but not quite._

"_I believe the alien is attempting to return to the mainframe." _

_She__ wanted to scream that that wasn't its plan but she couldn't. She looked at him, willing him to do it. He raised his arm, and she caught the slight wobble in his lower lip. _

_The Zat was painful, but nothing registered compared to the pain of __**feeling**__ her mind race through the base mainframe. She screamed again, begging him to end it, for the safety of the world, for his own sanity. _

_She didn't remember the second zat. The impression of two deep brown eyes filled with sadness left a scar on her already wounded heart._

Sam woke up suddenly. It had happened before; they had exposed the base to danger before because of their feelings. She wanted to, needed to, move from the bed but as she tried Jack only held her tighter in his sleep.

"Colonel." She tried to wake him up. "Colonel." She waited a minute as his eyes slowly opened.

"Carter?" He looked at her in a way that made her heart ache, then immediately realised the position they were in and released her. Sam stood up. Awkward. They had overstepped another of those invisible boundaries, and she had no idea what to say to make it better.

"You feeling better?"

"Yeah. Superficial wound eh?" Sam nodded. The blast didn't hit any vital organs; Jack was lucky and she needed to get out of there. The air was so thick that she could have cut it with a knife.

"I'm going…" Sam pointed at the door, "to check on Daniel and then go to Hammond." Jack nodded. She beat a hasty retreat, closing the door and leaning against the other side. Her heart was breaking quietly and as she sighed a strangled sob escaped.

Entering his private room, Sam saw Daniel was still unconscious.

Janet had finally stabilized him but didn't know the full extent of his wounds; he could still die or be paralyzed from waist down. It was a tense waiting game.

She felt entirely useless, and guilt was gnawing her insides. Walking away from the infirmary, Sam put her hand in her pocket. She pulled out a small tape. The tape from the camera. She put it down in her lab, unable to bring herself to watch it. Not yet.

Hours later, Sam reported to Hammond's office.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm okay sir." She lied. Badly.

"Woolsey is here. Did you contact Agent Barrett?" Sam nods.

"He said as far as he knows Woolsey is clean. But he did say he's as sharp as they come. He's got an MBA and an LLP from Harvard. He was a lead council for the army Corp of engineers for 10 years, and later sat on the defence policy board. He was asked to resign last year when it was disclosed that he had financial ties to a large corporation that had been awarded over 8 hundred million dollars in private sector defence contracts by the pentagon. He's been with the NID since then. Barrett faxed me this internal NID memo Woolsey recently wrote I think you should read it." Sam handed him the file that she had worked on while waiting on Jack to wake up for the first time. Hammond looked at it and sighed.

"What do we do sir?"

"Just tell the truth." The irony in that almost made her choke. If she did, she and Jack would probably both face court marshal.

"Sir…" She had to tell him. It was eating her up, had been for years. Sam could trust the General. She had to.

"Major?"

"I am responsible for Daniels injury. I...I got too close." She blurted out. She had said it even before she realised. The cat was out of the bag, this was it.

"Major, I don't think I understand. What are you talking about?" Hammond said.

"Off the record sir?" General Hammond looked doubtful, but he nodded.

"I had to check the new Kevlar vests before we could use them but I went to lunch with Colonel O'Neill instead, with the vests they wouldn't have such major injuries. Daniel might have made it. Everything would be different…" Sam tried to swallow back her tears. Guilt eating at her.

"Major," Hammond started, looking for the right words to say; "Let's say it this way. You try to tell yourself that every man and woman under your command means the same to you. Each has to be equally valuable if you're going to make the kind of decisions that affect their lives the way I have to. But you can't help it. You get closer to some people." Sam nodded again, no longer able to fight back the tears.

"You never want to lose anyone, but it still happens."

"Sir, it's not only that but…" Sam started "I got too close to Colonel O'Neill. I think I have...I know I have…feelings for him." Now she started and had to tell him everything. No more going back. She would transfer and if Daniel survived he at least wasn't in danger because of her. Not to mention Teal'c. She was a danger in the field when she was under the command of Jack O'Neill.

"You two are good friends." Hammond said.

"We are..." It was a struggle not to include the 'but' in that sentence.

"Major, are you telling me you think you are guilty for Doctor Jackson's injury?"Sam waits a moment but answers; "Yes sir." And Sam chokes back another tear.

"Doctor Jackson wasn't even with you at that moment."

"But I panicked in the field. I panicked!"

"How so?" Hammond tried to remain calm so that she would.

"I said we needed to go back to the gate and radioed that the Colonel was badly injured. Daniel must have heard that and moved position to get to him; otherwise the blasts would have missed him."

"They could have hit someone else as well, you don't know. You aren't the one who shot him?"

"No sir."

"Then you aren't guilty in my opinion. You couldn't have done anything about it."

"But I was bringing the team in danger..." Sam stopped for a moment and then continued; "My feelings for Colonel O'Neill clouded my judgment. This shouldn't happen. This is the reason why the frat regulations exist."

"I know." Hammond said sadly. He looked Sam straight in the eyes.

"Sir…" Sam licked her very dry lips and paused for a second; "I would like to request a transfer."

"Sam," Hammond's use of her first name caused her to stop and look him in the eye; "Your feelings **at the moment** are clouding your judgment. Two of your best friends and colleagues are in the infirmary, one close to death. You can't make decisions like this right now." He didn't know she had been thinking about this for a while. Ever since the hallucinations on the _Prometheus._ She knew from that moment on that she could have love in her life. That she should go for it. She had denied the inevitable for a while, but she couldn't anymore. Not now. Not ever. Even with how hard this decision was, she had to stop with SG1. For the first time in her life, her personal life would be more important than her work. She at least had to try it.

"Sir, I need to do this now. I need to do this." Sam looked the General direct in the eyes and said; "Please." She begged him mentally.

"Major, right now I don't even know if it's possible. You still have to be interrogated by Woolsey, you do know that?"

"I know, but I need to get away from the team before more happens."

He looked her in the eye piercingly, "Major, are you really sure about this? You're one of the most important assets of this program, I don't want to lose you."

"I'm sure."

He sighed, "Okay. I'll contact the joint chiefs, they will decide if your transfer goes through." They were silent for a moment.

"Sir, if possible, I do want to stay in the labs. If possible I do want another position on this base." Sam was a General's daughter; she understood the pain her mother had felt every time her father was away on a life-threatening mission. She couldn't do that, not to Jack, not to her own family.

"I can't promise you anything, Major, the joint chiefs will decide." Sam looked down and sighed. This was it; she just made an ending to the last seven years of her life. No SG1 anymore. She couldn't help herself; she started to cry, this was something she had never done before. Her entire life she had needed to prove herself, even in a man's career. She worked herself up by hard work and now, she just threw it all away. For the first time personal Sam had won over the soldier Sam and it was confusing. She didn't know how to feel or what to do; she just hoped it was all worth it.

"Thank you sir."

"You're welcome." He said sincerely; "I hope you are making the right decision, this isn't like you Sam."

Sam nodded. "I need to try this. I need to...know how it feels." Hammond nodded, he understood. Just like her father loved her mother, Hammond had done this with his wife. Now it was her time.

"I'll let you hear the outcome when the joint chiefs have decided what to do." He waited for a minute. "You still have your interrogation with Woolsey at 1400 Major. Try not to blame yourself over this. It was a mission, I gave you the order. We don't leave our people behind. You followed protocol, even if you think otherwise." Sam nodded again.

"Dismissed." Hammond said and Sam left the room. She walked back towards her lab, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Picking up her latest research project, she tried to set her mind on something else than Jack and Daniel, but when she saw the tape laying on the corner of her desk she had to think about them again. Slowly and uncertainly, she pushed the tape back into the camera. She wasn't prepared, but she couldn't deny the curiosity that overwhelmed her.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Sorry for the extreme long delay. Next and last chapter will probably be up next week...depends on how fast the beta'ing goes.

Thank you **Sarai **for betaing!

_Chapter 11_

"_Ok you tell her yourself." Daniel said, the camera pointing at Airman Wells. _

"_I'm so sorry about this. Love you so much" Airman Wells said as he screamed from the pain. "God I just, I just wanted…" his voice broke off with a strangled sob._

"_God god shut it off. Shut it off, I don't want her to see me die. Please, god."_

" Simon, Simon! Look at me you are not going to die ok? I did not come all the way out here for nothing. Now we've stemmed the bleeding. We're gonna get you to a stretcher. We're going to get you home with your family in no time ok? Now you hang in there airman." Janet said while trying to stabilize the gaping wound.

"_Yes Ma'am." _

"_We need to move now. Our position has been compromised. Colonel O'Neill has been hit." The camera jolted as they heard Sam's voice over the radio. Bright light flashed as the camera fell to the ground and the unmistakable sound of a Jaffa staff blast was heard. A moment of eerie silence followed and then a panicked cry. _

"_Daniel!"Janet was shouting. "We need a medic...w-...we need another medic!"_

"_What happened?" Wells cried out._

"_He saved me." _

Sam stopped the video with fingers that shook. She wasn't sure how she felt. Her best friend had given his life to save Janet. He'd been distracted for a second by Wells' message and seen the Jaffa aiming for their friend. He'd sacrificed himself for her. If Janet had been hit she could have been, probably would have been, dead now.

She got up slowly, thinking only of seeing him. Thanking him. Reaching the infirmary she saw that Janet was standing over him, making sure that if something happened she was there.

Sam and Janet stood there quiet for some minutes, looking at their mutual friend.

"He saved you." Sam said softly.

"He did," Janet stopped for a moment and then continued; "I can't let him die Sam. I just can't. I would have been dead if he hadn't saved me."

"You don't know. Don't feel guilty. Daniel saved you because it's in his nature to protect others. He did an incredible thing. He'll be all right." She tried to comfort Janet. She shouldn't be feeling guilty, not like Sam who deserved it.

"I know, but I just need to be here. To save him….how's the Colonel doing?"

"He's doing better. I think he can leave pretty soon. The blast didn't hit any vital organs, he should be up and about in no time."

"Good to hear."

They settled into silence, Sam staying until Teal'c arrived and she decided it was time to visit Jack again. Now he was awake and needed to stay in bed he would probably be the patient from hell.

When she arrived at his room she saw he was bored; he was idly flicking balled up bits of paper into a plastic cup. When he saw Sam he looked up for a second but continued his pointless game.

"Hey Carter, come on in."

"Sir." She sat down next to him.

"How are you holding up?" He flicked at the smallest ball, landing it neatly in the cup. Smiling he turned his full attention on her. She swallowed a little, uncomfortably and guiltily thinking just how **good** he looked.

His smiled faded as he asked, "How's Daniel?"

"Janet is watching him, but she's...not sure." Jack nodded and looked. Sam knew he expected an explanation of how it happened. Teal'c probably wouldn't have told him.

"Daniel got hit by a series of staff weapon blasts while trying to save Janet and Wells."

Jack raised his eyes to the ceiling. "That's Daniel. Always the hero."

"Yeah." Sam nodded with a weak smile.

"When do you go home?"

"Tomorrow," he said, but it was followed by a mutter; "if I behave." Sam grinned. His eyes brightened for a second and she relaxed, revelling in the first real smile she had had for days.

The interrogation was an irritation she could definitely have done without. This Woolsey character was a snivelling little wretch who had no idea how to run a successful military program let alone an intergalactic exploratory operation. He questioned her about the reason for the mission and its failure.

Luckily for him he didn't even broach the subject of Jack and Daniel, sticking with the niggling line _"there were serious casualties on this mission, maybe even turning into fatalities". _They had been lucky, she knew it and he knew it but he didn't dare say it.

Woolsey didn't find anything negative to report about Sam, much to his apparent disappointment, and consequently let her go. In the corridor after the interrogation, Sam bumped into Emmet Bregman again. He knew about the tape and wanted to know who had been injured. It was painful, but after a direct request from General Hammond she handed it over.

Jack was released the next day, with strict orders from Janet to take it easy.

Defying orders from the good doctor, Jack accompanied by Sam made a beeline for Daniel's room. Janet was hunched over him, checking his vitals, when his eyes started to flutter. Daniel was waking up.

"Daniel?" Janet asked. "Daniel can you hear me?" His eyes were sluggish but he looked up at her and nodded slowly. Everyone smiled. Janet along with two nurses bustled around the bed, checking him over. Daniel fell back to sleep a few times, not able to stay awake longer than a few minutes.

"Janet," Daniel was awake again.

"Yes?"

"I can't feel my legs. What happened?" Janet's team paused, eyeing each other anxiously. The doctor pressed firmly on his left leg.

"Daniel do you feel that?" He winced.

"No."

"Can you wiggle your toes?" Janet looked at his toes but nothing happened. Nobody said anything, but the air was thick with the awful truth; he was paralyzed from the waist down. Sam gasped, all her feelings of guilt returning in one crushing blow. She staggered from the room, Jack following swiftly. He pulled her to one side.

"Carter?" Jack asked. Sam just looked at him, tears in her eyes and shook her head.

"He…" Sam stopped, looking for the right words to say, "He is that way because of me." Jack held her gaze.

"No. He is that way because a Jaffa shot him."

"But…"

"Sam!" But she couldn't help it; the guilt was still there, gnawing at her insides. The pair locked eyes again for a second, neither knowing what to say. In the end it was Jack who softened and spoke up; "C'mere." She melted into his hug clinging unashamedly to him like her life depended on it. After what felt like an eternity Jack let go.

"Do you want to go back?" Jack asked. Sam shook her head; she owed it to her friend, and yet wasn't ready to face him. Not yet. In the end the pair silently decided to go to their respective homes. Since Jack wasn't allowed to drive just yet Sam drove him home.

Sam made sure he got safely in his home and was at the front door when Jack broke the heavy silence.

"You want a beer before you leave?" Sam wanted to say no, but Jack continued; "As a thank you for saving me." Sam doubted it for a second but it would be churlish to refuse. Nerves for the situation at hand made a dent in her guilt but despite everything that had happened, or even because of it, she understood that now was the time.

"Sir…" Sam started; she needed to have this talk. She needed to know if it was possible. "I've been thinking."

"Really?"

"Sir, please." Jack nodded and stayed silent.

"After…" She coughed.

"After you had been hit, I didn't know what to do. I needed to save you. I...I thought I had lost you. And I knew exactly what I wanted. I mean, I knew it after _Prometheus_ but I didn't know I knew it..." Sam sighed, she was struggling with what to say.

Jack frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Jack," She waited a second and then added; "I want to go fishing with you." It was the only thing she could think of that would completely explain what she meant to say.

Jack looked completely pole-axed for a moment. Sam was worried she shouldn't have done this. She put her beer down.

"I'm sorry, I should go. I shouldn't have done this." Sam stood up, turning to leave when she felt a hand grasp her arm. She turned to face him, almost losing herself in his eyes, which for the first time in years looked truly open with no barriers or defences.

"Fishing eh?" He was grinning. Sam nodded and Jack hugged her tightly.

Sometime later Jack spoke up again; "I'll retire." Sam raised her head from his shoulder.

"No you won't."

"They can lose me, they need you."

"No, I need to do this. I have to try. Everyone else got it, my dad, mom, General Hammond and even Daniel and Teal'c had it for a while, why can't I have it too?"

"You can, but Carter, the program needs you. You are one of earth's national resources. If not national treasures. I need to retire. Again." He said with a wry grin.

"You can't. I already talked with Hammond."

Jack frowned, "Carter?"

"I requested a transfer to the labs. I can't be on SG1 anymore." She stopped for a second and looked him straight into the eyes; "I care too much about you, even if we…" She stopped again and inhaled; "Even if we weren't doing this," She gestured in between them, "I care too much."

"You sure?" Jack didn't sound convinced, but Sam sighed happily and flashed him her trademark megawatt Carter smile.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"You can go to another SG team, I can ask Hammond. You could probably even lead it."

"No, I don't want that. I can't go to other planets while leaving my family behind. Every time we go through the gate we risk not coming back, I don't want to put my family through that." Jack nodded, he understood that Sam wanted this, that she found her grace in doing this, she needed to put herself, Samantha, first not Sam or the 'Major'.

It was way too early to talk about kids and yet from their conversations off-world, Sam knew that Jack would love to have kids again.

"If I ever had kids, what would I do if I'm still on a SG team? Get maternity leave, come back, and drop the baby off at day-care while I'm going to some unexplored planet on the edge of crab nebula?!" Jack sighed.

"You know there are people on the base who have kids. You _can_ do both."

"But I don't want to." Sam said sincerely to Jack. "I don't want to leave my kids without a mother." He nodded, understanding, and put his arm around her.

"Okay." They were quiet for a while until Jack sighed and looked her in the eyes. Suddenly he was kissing her. It was soft and sweet, like no other kiss she had ever experienced. She couldn't explain it if she tried, the man knew exactly what she wanted. Jack pulled her tighter and Sam settled into his embrace, allowing herself to feel truly happy for the first time in years.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

The last chapter of this story! Finally! Again sorry for the big delay...I was on vacation for a while(6 weeks) and got the chapter of my beta a while ago...hadn't had the time to look at it there(or upload it for that matter)...

So one final big thank you to **Sarai** for her beta'ing work! and on with the story...

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Chapter 12

Sam stayed with Jack overnight and the next morning they decided to go back to the base to look for Daniel and discuss things with Hammond. Although Sam had already asked for a transfer they needed to talk to him; to have his approval. When they arrived together at Hammond's office he looked like he knew what they wanted. The talk was short but to the point; the Joint Chiefs had come quickly to an agreement and approved Sam's transfer. Hammond graciously approved their relationship as long as they kept it professional on base. He also told them that Woolsey had left and hadn't found any evidence that they had done things wrong on the mission. Emmet Bregman got the tape and would soon be back at the SGC for the documentary, apparently he wanted the approval of the General before he would hand it in to the President.

After that they went to see Daniel. When they arrived in the infirmary he was awake. Teal'c was sitting next to him. Sam went to see Janet for a moment while Jack went to his friend.

"Janet." Sam walked into Janet's office.

"Hey Sam," Janet said with faked enthusiasm.

"How is he?"

"Good as far as possible. He's going to make it, but," she swallowed; the news was hard to come to terms with, "he will stay paralyzed. We can't fix the damage to his nerves. The blasts hit him on exact the right places to make it impossible for us to fix it. We should be happy that it missed the aorta, just barely." Sam nodded.

It was so unfair, Daniel didn't deserve this. He had dedicated his life to protecting and helping others, only to be rewarded with this. The Goa'uld could come back from the death unharmed while they couldn't even rescue someone and give him the ability to walk.

Suddenly Sam realized something. The Goa'uld. Their technology. They still had a healing device. Sam could try to heal Daniel with it. She had to try it. He deserved it. Certainly since the Tok'ra had practically ex-communicated them, this was the only hope Daniel ever had of walking again.

"Janet, could we," she hesitated before clenching her fists, "could we try the healing device?" Janet looked at Sam.

"We could. But last time you weren't able to do it, the damage to his spine is severe Sam."

"I have to try it. I'm going to see General Hammond now if you approve this. Please Janet, we have to try it." Sam saw Janet thinking for a second. The guilt she still had eating her away, but then she nodded, it seemed she wanted Daniel healed just as badly as Sam knew she had to try it.

Understanding the risks, Hammond gave the matter some thought before approving her efforts. When Sam arrived, together with Hammond the device was already laying there.

"Daniel," Sam had to ask him; last time she tried this on him it went wrong. She took the healing device last time when Daniel died two years ago.

"Daniel. I didn't suggest this before because the truth is, I'm not really sure what I'm doing with this thing. I could make things worse." Daniel nodded; he had confidence in her just like now.

Daniel nodded now too, he gave Sam permission. Sam lifted the healing device above Daniel just like last time. The device started to glow.

_Daniel started to__ seize. The device was only making it worse. He was dying. Doctor Fraiser went to Daniel and Sam stopped and stepped behind. She was in shock. _

"_Help me get him on his side. Valium's in. Set up an ambubag; draw 2 grams of magnesium sulphate. Put him back, easy." It helped, but Daniel was in a coma now without any hope of survival._

Sam blinked; this time it was different. He wasn't seizing, he lay there twitching slightly as she felt the power of the device and fixed what was wrong in his body. No adverse effects. She could almost see in front of her the nerves that were getting glued together. The molecules that were binding. And suddenly, without any hope of explanation, it felt 'good' again; Daniel was healed.

Sam stopped and looked at Daniel. "You alright?" Daniel was quiet for a moment, all eyes in the room watched his face intently.

"I hope so." Janet stepped in and touched Daniel's foot.

"Can you feel this?" Daniel started to smile.

"Yes. Yes I can feel it." He answered.

Sam felt the beginnings of a smile on her lips. Her guilt melted away as Janet continued to work her way onto Daniel's other leg. He could feel; and in time perhaps he could walk again.

Everything was going to be ok. The relief squeezed at her shoulders and it was a moment for she realised it was Jack standing behind her, his warm hand on her shoulder. He flashed her a huge smile and she covered his hand with hers, a small gesture, but big for them. She smiled back at him in relief, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. At his side Teal'c nodded once, smiling a little. Sam knew what he meant and she nodded back. General Hammond beamed and said; "Well done Major. I knew you could do it." She smiled back at him and looked at everyone around her. She hadn't let them down. She hadn't messed things up. She could do this. Work at the SGC and have a love life.

As General Hammond left he chuckled a little, hearing the laughter emanating from behind him. _You tell yourself that everyone under your command means the same to you, you have to if you're to make the kind of life and death decisions I do every day_, he thought to himself, _but sometimes people get under your skin. You care more for some than for others_.

SG-1 were more than a team; they were a family, one which he felt privileged to know and in some ways, belong to.

Sam and Jack left Daniel later that day when Janet insisted that Daniel still needed to rest. They could come back during visiting hours. Sam drove Jack home and after a little gentle persuasion, stayed.

They ordered pizza and joked over what was on the TV. Just happy to be together and getting used to their new formed relationship. It wasn't awkward at all, they were comfortable. Really comfortable. Sam cuddled up next to Jack, she was happy now. Not just content, she was really and truly happy.

Suddenly Jack spoke up; "You did well. Thank you." He was talking about Daniel, Sam understood that. Jack cared a lot about him, Daniel was his best friend. Sam just smiled and gave him a quick kiss. It was only a moment later that she realised how easy that was now that there weren't any regulations standing in their way. It felt weird but oh so right. She was planning to do that very often.

"You know," Jack started, "when you were injured on that planet a while ago you kissed me." Sam looked him in his eyes, was he serious? He grinned. He was serious.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Sam glared at him.

"I thought that you only did it because you were delusional." And Jack quickly gave her a cute smile that melted her heart.

"I don't remember that."

"I know."

"So you knew that I still had feelings for you?" He took a sip of his beer and smiled at her. It was his answer for saying yes, but he had kept his distance just for her. To let her take the step.

"Thank you." She said, thanking him for waiting for her. Till she had found her grace. He smiled and kissed her. Senselessly and passionately. Soon she was on his lap with her hands under his T-shirt.

"So do you want to go on dates, or shall we start with dessert?" Jack asked and Sam giggled; music to his ears.

"I always liked dessert." Sam answered. Jack smiled and kissed her on the nose. She felt like her heart could burst. Like Major Samantha Carter was the happiest and luckiest person in the world.

Getting bumped on the head and nearly killed a couple of times was the best thing that ever happened to her.

The end!

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I hope you all liked the story and if you can, please leave a review! I always like to know what other people think of my writing:)


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